Three years of Blokes at Hare Hill House

A support group for men suffering with loneliness started by a former policeman has celebrated three years of operation.

Peter Reed, 75, of Littleborough, began 'Blokes at Hare Hill House' in March 2019 after he realised through a Patient Participation Group – which allows patients to be involved with their GP practice – that there was a need to look after men who have become lonely or isolated.

Since then – excepting the Covid lockdowns – the group has met at Hare Hill House every Wednesday at 1.30pm, providing a quiet space for men to socialise.

The group has been a great success, as it doesn’t force attendees to share their thoughts or answer awkward questions. Attendees of all ages are met with a handshake and a smile, attendees can enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, cakes and biscuits over a game of dominoes, cards or darts.

The male-only group – consisting of men from Littleborough, Milnrow, Sudden, Balderstone, Walsden, Todmorden – originally got its name after Peter realised “the initials of the causes of many of the men becoming isolated near enough spelled out 'blokes'.”

 

 

“The blokes only open up if they want to,” Peter explained. “It’s not what we do, it’s what we don’t do that’s made us so successful. It’s all about friendship: they’re socialising, and the format works.

“Men are reluctant to admit that they need to be with other men that they do need a social bond, not isolation. Even in a crowded room, you can feel lonely.

“We had not set an agenda of speakers or bingo at 2pm. There is no prying, no formality.

“We do have mental health experienced volunteers and members know that if they feel a need to talk, there is someone who will listen. That is up to them.

“We have men from all walks of life who may or may not live alone. Many are widowed, some are not. The reason that they attend is not ours to question.

“What we do know is that the reasons for setting Blokes at Hare Hill House up have proved positive and support from the community has and is still fantastic.

“There’s also the group at Wardle and similar groups at Moorhouse Chapel in Milnrow, one in Heywood and another elsewhere.”

Ages of attendees range from men in their 20s to men in their 70s and 80s, with attendees coming from all over. The first Wednesday of each month also sees the presentation of the coveted ‘golden gnome’ which can be awarded for any reason – with many recipients placing the gnome in a prominent position at home.

 

 

Peter continued: “Loneliness doesn’t stop at a boundary; you don’t need to live in Littleborough.

“Men can become lonely and isolated because of many reasons, be it bereavement, retirement, unemployment, illness or stress. We expected six or so on the first day and we had 12 men attend.

“The numbers are rising again after Covid, and we are at mid-30s each week already.”

He added: “One man wanted to come for a couple of years before he did, and he said he’s glad he did because he’s talking to people rather than watching rubbish on the TV. He wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t have come and he’s still here for the same reasons.

“A big thank you to the community and organisations who have given fantastic support and financial help to our group. We appreciate the support from family and friends as they are the ones who normally notice the need for blokes to socialise and contact me.

“If anyone has any spare fruit from an allotment, please think of us. I don’t mind putting pastry on and making a pie for the group.”

Blokes at Hare Hill House also has a Facebook page for any men interested in attending, or bringing a friend or relative to one of the groups.